Guilds of Ankh-Morpork
In Terry Pratchett's Discworld series of fantasy novels, there are almost 300 Guilds in the city of Ankh-Morpork. Nanny Ogg's Cookbook, The Thieves' Guild Diary and the Death's Domain map all quote Guild publications. Guilds known include: *'Guild of Accountants and Usurers' (mentioned in Jingo) **Unsurprisingly, its stated taxable income is negligible. **Headed by Mr. Frostrip in Jingo *'Actors' Guild' (mentioned in The Truth) **Called the "Guild of Actors and Mummers" in The Wyrdest Link. *'Archaeologists' Guild' (seen in 'Discworld Noir', a computer game based around a detective on the Discworld.) *'Alchemists' Guild' **Motto: OMNIS QVI CORVSCAT EST OR ("All That Glitters Is Gold") **Headed by Thomas Silverfish in Men at Arms and Moving Pictures **A group of thin, wide-eyed, socially inept dreamers who have never let reality get in the way of their ideals. Their Guildhouse constantly needs rebuilding, as it frequently explodes. Thought of by pretty much everyone as a bunch of lunatics, they are nonetheless the Discworld's closest analogue to actual scientists. While the vast majority of alchemists are mindless experimenters who spend too much time around boiling mercury and unusual breeds of fungus, some, such as Cheery Littlebottom, have a solid base in chemistry, and have parlayed their skill into other fields, such as forensics. **Although they have yet to locate the Elixir of Life or the Philosopher's Stone, they did come close to discovering TNT, and, thanks to outside influence, inadvertently created a film industry in Moving Pictures **It's said that there's two major types of alchemists, the athletic and the intellectual. A good alchemist of the first sort was someone who could leap over the bench and be on the far side of a safely thick wall in three seconds, and a good alchemist of the second sort was someone who knew exactly when to do this. *'Guild of Architects' (mentioned in The Truth) *'Guild of Armourers' **Headed by Mr. Burleigh in Jingo *'Guild of Artificers' (mentioned in The Last Hero and Thud!) **Headed by Mr Pony in Thud! * Assassins' Guild **Motto: NIL MORTIFII SINE LVCRE ("No Killing Without Pay") **Headed by Lord Downey in Hogfather and subsequent books. **Guild Treasurer is Mr. Winvoe in Hogfather. **Headed by Dr. Cruces in Men at Arms **Headed by Zlorf Flannelfoot in The Colour of Magic **Headed by Dr. Follett during the reigns of Lord Winder and Lord Snapcase, as seen in Night Watch * Bakers' Guild (mentioned in Guards! Guards! and Feet of Clay) **Headed by Mr. Potts in Feet of Clay * Bandits' Guild (mentioned in Lords and Ladies) *'Guild of Barber-Surgeons' (mentioned in Lords and Ladies and "Medical Notes" in Once More* With Footnotes) * Beggars' Guild **Motto: MONETA SVPERVACANEA, MAGISTER -- ("Spare Change, Mister?") **Headed by Queen Molly in Men at Arms and subsequent books **Headed by unnamed man in Guards! Guards! **The oldest and the richest guild in the city. * Butchers' Guild **Headed by Gerhardt Sock in Men at Arms and Feet of Clay *'Butlers' Guild' ** Mentioned in The Assassins' Guild Diary *'Carters' and Drovers' Guild' (mentioned in The Fifth Elephant) * Chef's Guild **Mentioned in The Assassins' Guild Diary' * Clockmakers' Guild (appears in Thief of Time) **Secretary is Mr. Hopkins in Thief of Time * Council of Churches, Temples, Sacred Groves and Big Ominous Rocks **While not a guild, the Council performs the same political role for its member organizations as many of the Guilds do for their members. (Mentioned in Feet of Clay) * Guild of Confectioners (first mentioned in Thief of Time) * Guild of Conjurers **Motto: NVNC ILLE EST MAGICVS ("Now That's Magic" (Catch-phrase of British magician Paul Daniels)) **More of a club for stocky, aitch-dropping beer-swilling types, they are considered rather low on the ladder of magical ability and are scorned by wizards. They don't seem to care, and indeed appear to get a lot out of life. They are very popular among the masses, who consider sleight of hand far more interesting than actual magic. *'Guild of Cunning Artificers' (mentioned in The Last Hero, Thud!) * Guild of C.M.O.T. Dibblers (mentioned in The Discworld Companion) **Presumably headed by Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler **The city's smallest Guild (until the establishment of the Victims' Guild) * Dog Guild (appears in Men at Arms; probably since disbanded) **Headed by a Chief Barker; Big Fido in Men At Arms. Consists of dogs which have not just been Bad Dogs, and run away from their owners, but have Bit the actual Hand that Fed Them. **Controls scavenging rights, nighttime barking duties, breeding permissions and howling rotas. * Guild of Embalmers and Allied Trades (mentioned in Pyramids) **Motto: FARCIMINI ("Stuff It") * Guild of Engravers and Printers (formerly the Guild of Engravers; featured in The Truth) **Motto: NON QVOD MANEAT, SED QVOD ADIMIMVS ("Not What Remains, But What We Take Away") **Headed by Ronnie Carney in The Truth * Guild of Ecdysiasts, Nautchers, Cancanieres and Exponents of Exotic Dance (mentioned in Guards! Guards!) **Also called the Guild of Exotic Dancers and the Strippers' Guild **Motto: NVNQVAM VESTIMVS ("We Never Clothe") **Headed by Miss Dixie "VaVa" Voom in Soul Music; she has retired, along with her partner, Edward the snake. **Clientele consists of humans (who consider women taking their clothes off for money to be acceptable, but women doing it for nothing immoral), trolls (who, because they believe they travel backwards in time, like to watch their women strip in reverse) but not dwarfs (who have no concept of such an idea). * Guild of Fire Fighters (mentioned in Guards! Guards!) **In Guards! Guards!, it had been outlawed by The Patrician the previous year, as the Guild would threaten arson to get citizens to pay for a fire protection contract. * Guild of Fools and Joculators and College of Clowns (described in Wyrd Sisters and appears in Men at Arms) **Motto: DICO, DICO, DICO ("I Say, I Say, I Say") **Headed by Dr. Whiteface in Men at Arms and Fools Guild Diary(The name Dr. Whiteface is an honorific used by whoever heads the guild) **Secretary and Chief Butt is Geoffrey in Reaper Man * Gamblers' Guild (mentioned in The Colour of Magic) **Motto: EXCRETVS EX FORTVNA ("Shit out of luck") **Headed by Scrote Jones in The Discworld Companion **Headed by Doc Pseudopolis in Feet of Clay **Guild headquarters is located across the street from the Alchemists' Guild. Anyone wondering why will be politely reminded as to just what the profession of the guild members is. Head is elected by random draw. Regulates cheating and swindling, not by banning them, but by determining exactly how heavily dice should be loaded, the precise value of cards which may be held up the sleeve and the exact amount of money one may take from a mark. * Glassblowers' Guild (mentioned in Thud!) * Haberdashers' Guild *'Guild of Handlemen' (created in Moving Pictures, probably since disbanded) *'Historians' Guild' (mentioned in Jingo, The Last Hero, Thief of Time) **Likely headed by Mr. Betteridge **As of Thud!, has assumed a role similar to that of English Heritage, determining which buildings are of historical interest and ensuring they are preserved as their builders intended. *'Guild of Lags' (professional prisoners, mentioned in The Thieves Guild Diary) **Headed by Joe "Lifer" Bushyhead in The Thieves Guild Diary * Launderers' Guild (mentioned in Guards! Guards!) **Headed by Mrs. Manger in Guards! Guards! * Lawyers' Guild **Motto: LVCRE SERMAT ("Money Talks") **Headed by Mr. Slant, a zombie. The basic principle of the Guild is the richer you are, the more likely you are to be innocent. As rich people are more valuable to society than poor people, this is considered a very agreeable form of justice. * Guild of Merchants and Traders (created in The Colour of Magic) **Motto: VILIS AD BIS PRETII ("Cheap At Twice The Price") **Headed by Antimony Parker in Going Postal; however, they seem to have a new head every year. **Its main function is to protect its members from being robbed, which had become their principal occupation in recent years. They also serve as the advertisers of the civic charms of Ankh-Morpork to potential tourists. They hire gangs of burly men to patiently describe to outsiders that Ankh-Morpork is in fact clean, safe and lovely place to live. * Guild of Musicians (featured in Soul Music) **Motto: ID MVRMVRATIS, ID LVDAMVS ("You Hum It, We'll Play It") **More of a protection racket than a Guild, the Musicians' Guild demands high membership fees and performance rates for all members. Those who do not wish to be members are perfectly free to operate outside it, of course, but then, they are unlikely to do so for very long. * Guild of Plumbers and Dunnikin Divers (mentioned in Pyramids, Men at Arms) **Motto: NON ANTE SEPTEM DIES PROXIMA, SQVIRI ("Not Before Next Week, Squire") **Created in the reign of Patrician Vetinari. **Main role is to dig new water wells and empty cesspits (Dunnykin divers, a lonely profession) **Headed by Sir Charles Lavatory, who invented the device which bears his name. It flushes waste away very well, but as Ankh-Morpork has no sewers, it doesn't actually go anywhere. * Guild of Priests, Sacerdotes and Occult Intermediaries (mentioned in The Discworld Companion) **May be the same as the Council of Churches, Temples, Sacred Groves and Big Ominous Rocks * Rat Guild (alleged) * Rat-Catchers' Guild (mentioned in Feet of Clay ''and ''The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents) * Seamstresses' Guild **Euphemistically named; actually a guild of prostitutes. **Motto: NIL VOLVPTI, SINE LVCRE ("No Pleasure Without Pay") **Legalized by the Patrician early in his reign. **Headed by Mrs. Rosemary "Rosie" Palm. "Mrs." is an honorific bestowed on those members of the Guild who rise to the ownership of their own premises. Her employees are known as her "daughters" (a reference to the famous euphemism "visiting Rosie Palm and her five daughters." **During the events of Night Watch, the Guild briefly employed an actual seamstress, who made quite a large sum of money darning the socks of men who made the same mistake she did. **Upon his initial arrival in the city, Carrot Ironfoundersson lodged at the Seamstresses' Guild, and even dated one of its members, all the while apparently oblivious to the nature of their profession. **Granny Weatherwax lodged at the Seamstresses' Guild as well, considering Mrs. Palm "practically a witch." * Guild of Shoemakers and Leatherworkers (mentioned in The Truth) **Headed by Tuttle Scrope in The Truth * Smugglers' Guild (mentioned in Pyramids) *'Tailors' Guild' (mentioned in The Fifth Elephant) * Teachers' Guild (mentioned in Guards! Guards! and Men At Arms) **Headed by Master Greetling in Guards! Guards!. **The Guild clock strikes noon before any of the others, presumably marking school lunchtime. * Guild of Thieves, Cutpurses, Housebreakers, and Allied Trades **Motto: ACVTVS ID VERBERAT ("Whip it Quick") **Legalized by the Patrician early in his reign. **Headed by J.H. "Flannelfoot" Boggis in Feet of Clay and subsequent novels. **Headed by Urdo van Pew in Guards! Guards! **Headed by Ymor in The Colour of Magic *'Guild of Town Criers' (mentioned in The Truth) *'Guild of Victims' (created in The Thieves Guild Diary) **Headed by Echinoid Blacksly (only member) **A bizarre counterpart to the Guild of Thieves; you hire Mr Blacksly to suffer an official Guild theft on your behalf. * Guild of Watchmen (created in The Fifth Elephant) **Headed by Nobby Nobbs in The Fifth Elephant **According to The Discworld Companion, it lasted exactly as long as it took for Samuel Vimes to find out about it. Guild mottos (in Latatian) are taken from The Discworld Companion. External links * Discworld & Pratchett Wiki ] Category:Guilds